"Superstitious oatmeal! That's awesome! I've gotta get a phrase like that."

"A lot of good that'll do you when you get possessed by the Tails Doll."

"Now what kind of phrase? Hokum donuts? Bogus pizza? Scam cheeseburgers?"

"Are you listening to me?!?"


I loved reading this page called "Tails from the Crypt". It was all these stories about how the Tails Doll, a creature in the Sonic racing game, Sonic R. Supposedly, if you beat the game with 100 percent completion, you would: 

a. Go insane,

b. Be brutally murdered,

c. Brutally murder people,

d. Be possessed by the Tails Doll,


e. Become his slave for all eternity.

My friend actually believed these stories. I had beaten Sonic R a few months ago in Sonic Gems. Now, it was time for Tag 4 Characters. If I disproved the "tagging Super Sonic with Tails Doll releases TD into the real world", I would shatter the hold these stories had over his mind. So, late that night, we booted up Gems and selected Sonic R. Or at least, I thought it was him. I could barely see him through the toy Chaos Emeralds, Sonic plushies, garlic, and printouts of lengthy, arcane incantations. I convinced him to get rid of most of it (he insisted on keeping my Sonic plushie out). 

We started. 

I chased Super Sonic. Boy, was he tough to catch. But he slipped up (it was snowing) and I caught him. I turned to my friend. "See? Nothing," I said.  

But I was wrong. As I turned around, there he was. The Tails Doll. My friend held up my Sonic plushie like a cross and shouted something very fast in Japanese. I grabbed my Ph34r Bat from under the couch and started beating the evil stuffed fox. Somehow, my friend's chant seemed to keep the plush of doom in place. I shouted for him to stop the chant. He (somewhat reluctantly) did. I batted the Tails Doll back into the TV, which went dark. I turned back to my friend. "See? Tails Doll was a--" I felt a sharp tug and I was now inside the TV. Somehow now, we were in Sonic the Fighters. The arena was a digitized version of my living room. Tails Doll rushed at me. I swung my bat. He hit. I missed. He knocked me onto the ground and leapt on me (well, technically, right above me). His jewel glowed. I was getting weaker and weaker. Soon, I couldn't move. I heard a horrible sound. 


Or at least the start thereof. All of a sudden, it was drowned out by a loud, booming chant. It was my friend, though it was a slower, different chant this time. I got stronger again. I sat up, which alone knocked the Tails Doll flying. Now, he was growing weaker and I was growing stronger. I picked him up and leapt back through the television so I was back in the real world. I threw the Tails Doll at my GameCube. The doll vaporized on impact.

The next day, I talked to my friend about what happened inside the TV. He says that I now have the Tails Doll's life force inside me. Which means that the Tails Doll might be able to find a way to possess me at any time. My friend is working on a way to get its life force out of me. I don't know if I really want that. Even though his speaking those chants makes me get the effect partially (if he uses the freezing one, I'll move slower), I'm faster, stronger, smarter... More powerful in general. I think I may pass on the whole "life force purification" hing for now. 

P.S. Here's the chant that makes the Tails Doll freeze: Just say "Sonic the Hedgehog" in Japanese over and over. 

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